Why write a blog? A quick internet search will show over 500 million blogs on over 1 billion websites. Of course, that number fluctuates significantly daily as many new blogs are created, and even more are removed or abandoned. So again, I have to ask myself, “Why do I take the time to start a blog? Blogs, of course, serve a wide range of purposes. Some blogs can create passive income, advance a person’s career, or help someone become an online influencer. All of this is good for a generation of people born and raised knowing nothing but social media, but what about the older generation (like me) or the minority of folks who shy away from an online presence? Let me be clear: I couldn’t care less about fame and don’t want anything I have listed above. So again, why start a blog?
Oddly enough, my nephew, who I will refer to as “The Director” throughout this journey, approached me with the idea of starting my blog. He stated that many of our conversions have helped him grow and I should share my thoughts with others. Of course, I scoffed at him and his crazy idea, as I had never thought of myself as someone who was an expert on anything. In fact, I am just an average, middle-aged guy who enjoys an occasional bourbon and cigar while trying to figure out this thing we call life. Nothing special, fancy, or unique. I am a simple yet complicated man with many uncontrollable thoughts bouncing around in my head, often leaving me confused, lonely and lost. But my nephew also reminded me that I have much “life experience” as a veteran in turning struggle into strength. As such, I should share those knowledge nuggets with other veterans and like-minded individuals. The journey of personal growth should not be undertaken alone but with a tribe of individuals who possess a common goal: simply being better than we were yesterday.
So, in my first attempt at “blog stardom,” I had to ask why. A former Marine, professor, and legend in his own mind (not to mention my best friend, R.I.P.), William Whitt, once shared that the question of “why,” when broken down into its simplest form, only has two possible and plausible answers: because and why not.
When we take time to look back at the things we have done in our lives, both good and bad, many of them happened BECAUSE of how we were trained. In addition, things we do or decisions we will make in the future are, again, BECAUSE of that same training. Whether that training happened when we were children, in the military/first responder parts of our lives, or our current professions, we are trained to react to accomplish the task. As an example, I struggle with weight. I am a classic “yo-yo” as far as putting on and taking off the pounds. I am this way BECAUSE my parents trained me to always finish every drop of food on my plate. As a result, I eat everything put in front of me, whether full or not. As far as my OCD goes (yes, that is a trait I hate to admit I have, but I own it), I need things done a certain way BECAUSE of my military training. Checking, double-checking, and even triple-checking things are overkill, but BECAUSE lives were at stake, I never stopped checking on those under my command, our equipment, and all our supplies. Unfortunately, that very same OCD habit hasn’t worked well in my post-military days. How often do I actually need to check the front and back doors to ensure they are locked before bed?
Again, the BECAUSE part of the “why” question directly correlates to my training. Knowing and understanding this allows me to retrain my thoughts and actions. Hopefully, with this knowledge, you will begin to retrain your many thoughts and habits, allowing you to respond rather than react to any given situation (more on responding versus reacting to come in future blogs). Now, the second half of the “why” question, WHY NOT?
WHY NOT is one of those phrases, or should I say “ideas,” expressing encouragement, a lack of objections, or showing our openness? The challenge I have always had with the WHY NOT response is my hesitation to take that leap of faith and put myself out there, flaws and all. It is one thing to say, WHY NOT when a group of folks is going “all-in,” but it is often very lonely when you are doing something all by yourself or something for the first time. The reservation to say WHY NOT can come from a wide range of past experiences, our sense of perfectionism (which I am guilty of), fear of failure, or something as simple as being out of our comfort zone. While I could bore you to death with example after example of why I am hesitant to say WHY NOT, I will point to anything involving large crowds. I hate them, and my past training has allowed my situational awareness to overpower my thoughts or recommendations to try new things or go to new places. As a result, the WHY NOT is often replaced with a “no thank you,” and I miss out on a new adventure.
However, believe it or not, there is a cure to the WHY NOT hesitation we all have, which is training. Yes, you read that correctly…training. Just like in the BECAUSE part of the why question, we can train ourselves to be more open and secure in who and what we are, thus allowing ourselves to be in new, more unfamiliar, and possibly exciting situations. This retraining won’t happen overnight. It will take work, patience, and grace, as we can only take one breath, moment, and day at a time. The only thing holding us back is ourselves. Sometimes, we must get out of our way, take a chance, and say WHY NOT? Life is too short to live in fear and doubt.
So, the answer to why for me and this blog is WHY NOT and BECAUSE. Why not take a chance and put my thoughts out there? If people like or hate it, who cares? I need to be myself, get out of my own way, and try something new. As for the because part, well…my past and present training has led me to a point in life where I want to help those (including myself) who might be lost or struggling to find purpose in life.
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” While I am not Tony Robbins, Ed Mylett, or David Goggins (all of whom I follow regularly), I am an individual who has “been there and done that” repeatedly, often failing miserably. However, I always get up, give myself grace, and keep moving forward. So, if you are interested, come along for the ride.
Until next time, struggle well my friends!
~Grim
What are your throughts?