No matter how you stumbled across my blog, whether by accident or on purpose, you might be asking yourself right about now, “What’s up with the “595” as far as warrior wellness goes?” Believe it or not, you aren’t the first to ponder that very question, and I will state that it’s not just a random number but a personal philosophy for growth. Yes, you read that correctly: 595 Warrior Wellness is a daily perspective or frame of mind that I believe will help facilitate turning struggle into strength.
When we take a moment and explore our lives from a 30,000-foot view, there are only three main chapters on our timeline of existence: our past, present, and future. Of course, each of these time periods can contain a wide range of emotions and experiences, which may sometimes bleed over into each other. Still, these emotions may unknowingly prevent you and me from experiencing actual growth.
If you can put aside everything you have learned about emotions and consider for a moment the possibility that when we are struggling, there are only three primary emotions that correspond to the three time periods I just listed above. Now, before you think I have completely lost my mind, please take into account the fact that most psychiatrists and psychologists cannot even agree on a standard definition of the word and reference emotions in almost 100 different ways. What I think we can all agree upon, however, is the fact that emotions play a vital role in how we experience life, make decisions, and interact with all types of people around the world. With all of that stated, the three primary emotions I am referring to are sadness (the past), fear (the future), and joy (the present).
Sadness (Past): This emotion usually stems from some form of loss or grief we experienced in our past (usually with a person) that we cannot fully process. It is a lingering emotion that acts like chains, keeping us metaphorically restricted to a specific point or event. However, our loss or grief can also be directed at our current situation. A loss of connection with ourselves, our purpose, our meaning, or simply not understanding why we feel so overwhelmed can keep us in the past, feeling sorrow.
Fear (Future): This emotion manifests as uncertainty or anxiety. All too often, our inability to control or at least plan for a specific situation has us stuck in place, unable to breathe or function. What makes fear so debilitating is that the things we fear the most are usually tied to events from our past (i.e., loss, rejection, failure, the unknown, success, being alone, or physical harm).
Joy (Present): American Catholic Benedictine monk, author, and lecturer David Steindl-Rast once stated, “Joy is the happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.” Joy is that emotion you get when you are content with what is happening around you. Living for the moment, your feelings, thoughts, and focus are exactly where your feet are planted. Joy can be associated with fulfillment and gratitude.
But what about anger? Believe it or not, I get asked that question more than just once in a while. Yes, anger is an emotion we have all experienced at one point or another. But what if I told you that anger is a secondary emotion? When we look at anger for what it is, we can see it combines fear and sadness to trigger a response. This triggered response can be from some unresolved events that occurred in our past (sadness) or the mindset that the same events will happen again in our future (fear). Jill Herzig, the Chief Brand Officer at Midi Health, says, “A wise therapist taught me that anger is the emotion we snatch up to avoid less comfortable feelings—confusion, fear, and sadness.”
Now, don’t get things twisted; I am not saying it is wrong to get angry. It is more than okay to get angry; in fact, there are times when we need anger. Anger is a normal emotion, but what is important is how you manage and express that anger. When we struggle, we tend to “act” from a place of anger versus just accepting that we are angry and dealing with it. Unfortunately, that is when things can get out of control, and we take it out on our loved ones or, even worse, ourselves. So the next time you are angry, try something different and ask yourself, “What am I sad about or fearful of?” instead of “Why am I angry.” The answer might surprise you.
So, coming full circle, the 595 philosophy is the mindset that keeps you and me where we need to be most of the time, every day: in the present (right where our feet are). If we can train ourselves to spend only 5 percent of our day looking at the past and only 5 percent of our day looking at the future, that leaves us 90 percent of our time living in the present (again, right where our feet are). Sure, when we are struggling, it is impossible to forget about the past, but the past is designed to be a place of reference, not residence. And while we cannot control the future (since it isn’t guaranteed), it is simply something to be aware of, not something that consumes our thoughts.
Ask yourselves, how many important moments have you missed because you were stuck in the past or worried about the future? How many birthdays, anniversaries, fishing trips, golf outings, and date nights were missed? How many once-in-a-lifetime events with your kids, spouse, family members, and close friends were missed because you locked away in your mind, reliving the past or panicking about what is yet to come? Trust me when I say I know what that feels and looks like.
One thing that helps me adjust my focus when I start to feel myself being pushed out of the 90 percent by what we call life is to implement the 5-by-5 rule of thumb. I don’t waste more than 5 minutes on anything that doesn’t affect me five years from now. Let me state that again: DO NOT waste more than 5 minutes on anything that won’t directly impact your life five years from now. When the dumbass driving down the road won’t get out of the “left” lane when I am in a hurry, I just let it go. When my food order gets messed up for the third time, I just let it go. Even when the cashier at the hardware store spends all her time gossiping with customers instead of checking folks out, I just let it go. All too often, we get hung up on the insignificant events in the here and now that might trigger something that happened in the past and thus lead us to worry about the future. And to be completely transparent, at my age, the things that have the potential to get me spun up I won’t remember more than 5 minutes from now, let alone in 5 years. To train ourselves to live in the present, we need to be like a quote from the Disney movie “Frozen” and just let it go.
The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, once said, “Remember that man lives only in the present, in this fleeting instant; all the rest of his life is either past and gone or not yet revealed. Short, therefore, is man’s life, and narrow is the corner of the earth wherein he dwells.” Living 5-by-5 with the 595 philosophy will help you remain where your feet are, and that is the present. Life is too short to be wasted; enjoy every moment as if it were your last. For once it is gone, it will be gone forever.
Until next time, struggle well my friends!
~Grim
What are your throughts?