In the Spring of 2019, I vividly remember sitting in an executive leadership meeting when the commanding officer (a full bird Colonel) asked a brand new, wet behind the ears, just graduated from ROTC, Second Lieutenant about a possible outcome on a critical healthcare project. Now, if you have ever been in such a scenario, you know deep down inside it wouldn’t end well for the Lieutenant, and of course it didn’t. With a straight face, the young officer looked at the Colonel and responded, “Ma’am, I hope everything is ready to proceed, and I pray it all turns out for the best.” The Colonel immediately looked at the young officer and, without missing a beat, calmly responded, “Excuse me? Hope is not an action plan.” Fast forward a few months, the healthcare project turned out to be a complete success, and today, I am happy to report the young officer has become an outstanding Air Force leader.
However, from that moment on, one thing that has stuck with me was her profound words that hope is not an action plan. Even today, when I hear someone use the term “hope,” I politely remind them that it isn’t an action plan (my wife absolutely loves it when I do that…can you feel my sarcasm?). But why do we seem to rely only on hope? Especially when we struggle? I know when I am in the middle of an absolute shitstorm and when the struggle has a tight grip on my mind, body, and spirit, I often retreat into my mental fortress of solitude and “hope” everything turns out okay. It is like I bury my head in the sand, wait for the storm to pass, and then attempt to deal with the aftermath.
If you respond like me when everything falls apart, I am here to tell you that you are acting, better yet, responding perfectly normal. The truth is that everyone, whether they want to admit it or not, responds in this manner from time to time because hope is a natural emotional response to some unexpected challenge or adversity. South African Anglican bishop and theologian Desmond Tutu once stated, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” The power of hope allows us to have a coping mechanism to mentally bear life’s challenges by focusing on the possibility of a positive outcome. Hope can also be used as a practice to facilitate internal motivation, forcing us to keep trying even when the situation seems too onerous or when all seems lost.
Unfortunately, hope is not a stand-alone thing. It will not enable you to get the job done, complete the task, or truly overcome your struggles. Whether you like it or not, you will need an action plan for things to change or get accomplished. Yes, that is what I said. You are going to have to get off your butt, pull your head out from the sand, and put a plan in action. In my military days, an action plan included a list of specific tasks, responsibilities, timelines, necessary resources, key milestones, and some measure of success. Now, you might not need all the steps listed above to get you past your struggles, but depending on where you are at and what you are trying to accomplish or overcome, you might need some of them. The truth is, as long as you have some plan, no matter how small, just some way ahead, and anything to get you going, it will always be better than doing nothing.
I am no longer ashamed to admit that I am an alcoholic. There was a time in my life when all I did was live for my next drink. It was my way of coping with the unspeakable things I had seen and done before, during, and after my time in the military. It didn’t matter who I hurt or what I did; as long as I had that next drink, I would be good to go. And just like clockwork, after every hangover went away, I would sit and hope that I had the strength not to buy another bottle of alcohol. Regrettably, my hope wasn’t strong enough, and I would eventually find my way to the local liquor store (where they knew me by name) to purchase another two or three bottles of liquid pain relief. This cycle went on for almost a decade.
Fortunately, I had a mentor who jumped into my pit of despair and showed me a way out. However, he didn’t just carry me to a better place; he made me do the work. I created a plan on how I was going to beat my addiction, and he provided support when I stumbled. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous; I sought mental health counseling for the demons in my head; I changed my behaviors and cut ties with individuals who didn’t support me and my decision to give up alcohol. I put an action plan in place to get better, and I followed through on that plan. It wasn’t easy; I will say it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to overcome, but I did not quit and am better for it today.
Maybe as you read this post, you are currently struggling with alcohol, porn, pills, drugs, gambling, over or under-eating, excessive or nonexistent gym time, a mountain of debt, or other unhealthy lifestyle habits. I am here to tell you that hope alone WILL NOT get you out of your current situation. It will take hope, a plan of action, and a lot of hard work, but in the end, I know you can make it. And yes, you read that correctly; I wrote “hope” as a vital part of your progress.
You see, I am not anti-hope despite what people say about me. In fact, I am the opposite, to the point where I feel we need more hope today than ever before. Since hope and action plans serve two completely different purposes, I am a staunch advocate that both work hand in hand and are required when dealing with any life struggles. Hope is essential for keeping spirits high and you motivated, but without a concrete plan, it can remain simply wishful thinking. Conversely, an action plan without hope can feel like you are just going through the motions with no end in sight. Together, they form a powerful strategy for success.
Until next time, struggle well my friends!
~Grim
What are your throughts?