595 Warrior Wellness

Like clockwork, the first of January rolls around every year and the collective chant of “New Year, New Me” echoes across social media timelines. Gym memberships skyrocket, grocery carts overflow with kale and quinoa, and journals filled with goals and affirmations are lovingly cracked open – only to collect dust by February.

Yes, the idea of reinventing ourselves every year is seductive. The calendar flips and we feel this irresistible pull to leave our old selves in December and emerge on January 1st as some new, idealized version of who we think we should be. But let’s be honest for a moment, this whole “New Year, New Me” thing is a load of crap.

So, what is the problem with the “New Me” fantasy? First, let’s address the obvious: You’re not a phone that needs an annual update. Personal growth doesn’t happen just because you decided January is your month. Change is messy, nonlinear, and frankly, doesn’t care what date is on the calendar. Declaring a complete overhaul of your personality, habits, or lifestyle as midnight strikes, sets you up for failure. Second, the truth is, that we cling to this notion because it’s easier than struggling and facing the more complex reality: change requires consistent effort, not a calendar excuse.

Struggling well is finding beauty in the mess. Instead of chasing some imaginary “new you,” what if we focused on something far more powerful: learning to struggle well?

Being able to struggle well isn’t just about enduring difficulty; it’s about finding meaning, growth, and even beauty when facing challenges. It’s acknowledging that life isn’t a curated highlight reel and that transformation happens in the unfiltered, unglamorous moments that no one talks or posts about.

When we learn to struggle well, we stop resisting the messiness of growth and start embracing it. We stop expecting change to be fast, linear, or straightforward; instead, we allow ourselves to experience the discomfort that comes with actual progress. Because here’s the truth: it’s not the absence of struggle that defines growth; it’s how we handle it.

We all need to grasp, that struggle is the foundation of growth. Think about the last time you really grew as a person. Chances are, it didn’t happen during a time of comfort. Growth happens in the discomfort, in the times when things feel complex, confusing, or even downright impossible.

The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly without the struggle of pushing its way out of the cocoon. It’s in that very struggle that its wings develop the strength to fly. In the same way, our struggles shape us, strengthen us, and prepare us for what’s next. Struggling well means recognizing that these moments of difficulty aren’t failures; they’re opportunities. They’re the messy middle where the real work happens.

So, how do we find beauty in the mess? Our culture loves to glorify “the end result”, but skips over the messy middle. We celebrate the marathon finisher but rarely discuss the months of blisters, self-doubt, and 5 a.m. alarms. We admire the artist’s masterpiece but overlook the hours of frustration, crumpled sketches, and mistakes it took to get there. But the mess is the beauty. The mess is where you learn strength, patience, and self-compassion. The mess is where you realize that it’s okay to take things one imperfect step at a time.

Struggling well isn’t about pretending to enjoy every moment of difficulty; it’s about finding meaning in it. It’s about noticing the small victories, even when the bigger picture feels far away. It’s about appreciating the fact that you’re trying, even when the results aren’t immediate or obvious.

As Brené Brown so beautifully puts it in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” (Click here to learn more about The Gifts of Imperfection)

This quote reminds me that courage isn’t in avoiding struggle or pretending to be “new,” but in embracing who I am, imperfections and all, as I find a way to move forward. It’s not about erasing the past; it’s about integrating it and continuing to evolve with what I’ve learned.

So, how do we actually struggle well? Here are a few ways to lean into the beauty of the mess:

1. Let go of perfection. Struggling well starts with embracing imperfection. You don’t have to get it right the first time, the second, or the tenth. Mistakes aren’t setbacks; they’re part of the process.
2. Be present in the process. Instead of obsessing over the outcome, focus on what’s right in front of you. Whether it’s lacing up your shoes for a short walk or sitting down to write a single paragraph, those small moments matter.
3. Focusing on the small steps. Healing or adapting isn’t about a quick fix. It’s about showing up for therapy, talking to a peer, or taking another step toward understanding yourself.
4. Learn from the struggle. Every challenge holds a lesson, even if it’s not immediately clear. What is this moment teaching you about patience, perseverance, or yourself?
5. Lean on your support network. Connection is key, whether it’s a trusted friend, a veteran’s group, or a colleague who understands. Struggling well means knowing when to let others share the weight.
6. Be kind to yourself. Growth is hard enough without beating yourself up along the way. Struggling well means giving yourself the same compassion you’d offer a friend in your shoes.
7. Honoring what you’ve endured. Instead of trying to erase your experiences, recognize the growth you’ve built through them. You don’t need to reinvent yourself; you need to combine those experiences into your identity, in a healthy way.

Never forget the strength in simply showing up. Struggling well doesn’t mean you’ll always feel strong or that you’ll never want to quit. It means choosing to show up anyway, deciding that your efforts, no matter how small, are worth it.

When you struggle well, you stop measuring yourself against the polished versions of success you see online or on television. Instead, you recognize the value of your own messy, beautiful process. You realize that the hard days, the setbacks, and the small, uncelebrated wins are all part of the journey.

Because here’s the thing: struggling well isn’t just about reaching a destination. It’s about discovering who you are along the way. It’s about finding pride in your effort, strength in your perseverance, and beauty in the mess that makes you human.

For veterans and first responders, the idea of “New Year, New Me” can feel particularly hollow. Our challenges are uniquely different from those of the general population, shaped by experiences that can’t simply be reset with a resolution. The weight of service, trauma, or the relentless demands of your work doesn’t vanish just because the calendar flips to January.

Struggling well for “US” means acknowledging the complexities of our journey. We’ve seen and done things most people never will. We’ve faced pressures and responsibilities that have shaped who we are, both the strengths and the scars.

For those who’ve dedicated their lives to service, struggling well is about finding strength in the struggle, not despite it, but through it. It’s about learning to carry the heaviness without letting it define your future.

Here’s a radical idea: maybe you don’t need a “new” you at all. Perhaps the old you has everything you need to grow, and the goal isn’t reinvention; it’s evolution. The person you are, shaped by your experiences, is more than enough.

Instead of scrapping who you are, work with what you’ve got. The parts of you that are messy, tired, and even broken, they’re part of the story, too. You’ve already survived so much and carried yourself through challenges you never thought you’d face. That’s not something to discard; it’s something to honor.

So this year, skip the “New Year, New Me” noise. Focus on the small steps. Celebrate the imperfect wins. And remember: struggling well is the secret no one talks about. You don’t have to be “new” to be enough. You just have to simply be you and keep going.

Until next time, struggle well my friends!

~Grim